When considering topics for a May column, it seemed natural to think of Mom and Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is special to me. Not because of my own rocky, on again, off again relationship with my mother, but because of the wonderful relationship I’m lucky enough to have with my four children.
Seems a little contradictory to talk about a relationship with my kids when my mom and I don’t speak, but over the years I’ve learned that you can’t be responsible for how other people behave and sometimes, even when those “other people” are your relatives, you have to cut your losses.
The transition from parent – child to adult – adult isn’t always an easy one. Sometimes -- my mother’s and mine being a case in point -- that transition is never accomplished. You can only do so much then you have to give up. I believe it’s been that frustration that has helped me make my relationship with my children as good as it is. Because it was my mother’s wish to keep me under control as her child always, I think I went to great lengths to allow my children to grow and learn and become adults in their own right. They’ve done awesomely because they are four adults that, were they not already my children, I’d be proud to call my friends. In fact, I DO call them friends and share every aspect of my life with them now. I spend the best times just watching them together. And they know it and tease me often about how I get teary eyed even just going to the supermarket if they’re all with me, squabbling and carrying on like siblings should.
Because I know that mother-child relationships aren’t always easy but can sometimes be very rewarding, I approached some friends to dig deep down and come up with memories of mom that they would share. I asked that they come up with perhaps, a favourite recipe and an anecdote to go with it. I think even I was surprised at how deep they dug and what they were willing to share. I didn’t tell them it had to be a happy memory, and some of them aren’t. But they’re all small lessons, I think, in what’s best and brightest, and even hardest, about being mom.
The following are excerpts from what was shared with me. They come from a great group of people who have in common that they socialize and chat in a bulletin board community called The Jackson Cage. They also have in common that they opened their hearts to tell us about mom. I hope you get as much out of these life glimpses as I did. Bear in mind too, that in some cases, although we’ve been “together” on this board for a while now, these stories showed sides of people we didn’t even know were there.
This first one is from Mike.
Gee...You guys are going to think I'm kidding but I'm not!
Age:9
I went to give my mother one of those crafty mother's day cards we use to make in school....
I was all excited to give it to her cause I worked so hard on it....
When I gave it to her she started to sob and cry really hard...
I asked “Why are you so sad?”
She then told me I was old enough to know now....know what I asked?
That she was not my real mother....I was adopted.
That is a mother's day memory that I will never forget.
When considering topics for a May column, it seemed natural to think of Mom and Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is special to me. Not because of my own rocky, on again, off again relationship with my mother, but because of the wonderful relationship I’m lucky enough to have with my four children.
Seems a little contradictory to talk about a relationship with my kids when my mom and I don’t speak, but over the years I’ve learned that you can’t be responsible for how other people behave and sometimes, even when those “other people” are your relatives, you have to cut your losses.
The transition from parent – child to adult – adult isn’t always an easy one. Sometimes -- my mother’s and mine being a case in point -- that transition is never accomplished. You can only do so much then you have to give up. I believe it’s been that frustration that has helped me make my relationship with my children as good as it is. Because it was my mother’s wish to keep me under control as her child always, I think I went to great lengths to allow my children to grow and learn and become adults in their own right. They’ve done awesomely because they are four adults that, were they not already my children, I’d be proud to call my friends. In fact, I DO call them friends and share every aspect of my life with them now. I spend the best times just watching them together. And they know it and tease me often about how I get teary eyed even just going to the supermarket if they’re all with me, squabbling and carrying on like siblings should.
Because I know that mother-child relationships aren’t always easy but can sometimes be very rewarding, I approached some friends to dig deep down and come up with memories of mom that they would share. I asked that they come up with perhaps, a favourite recipe and an anecdote to go with it. I think even I was surprised at how deep they dug and what they were willing to share. I didn’t tell them it had to be a happy memory, and some of them aren’t. But they’re all small lessons, I think, in what’s best and brightest, and even hardest, about being mom.
The following are excerpts from what was shared with me. They come from a great group of people who have in common that they socialize and chat in a bulletin board community called The Jackson Cage. They also have in common that they opened their hearts to tell us about mom. I hope you get as much out of these life glimpses as I did. Bear in mind too, that in some cases, although we’ve been “together” on this board for a while now, these stories showed sides of people we didn’t even know were there.
This first one is from Mike.